Dating: Problem # 4
One of the saddest tendencies of dating is to distract young adults from developing their God-given abilities and skills. Instead of serving in their local church, instead of equipping themselves with the character, education, and experience necessary to succeed in life, many allow themselves to be consumed by the present needs that dating emphasizes.
Harris then gives an example of a couple who start dating when they are 15. They never get involved physically but they break up two years later. Surely a model of godly purity in dating? Surely a good thing for them? Well, there must be good things. But there are costs too. Maintaining and growing a relationship takes a lot of time, energy, prayer ... there are countless hours spent thinking, talking, texting! And that time and energy is not being poured into study, service, the family, sport, music ... we'll you can imagine all the things. And so at the end of the day, what has been gained?
Dating may help you practice being a good boyfriend or girlfriend, but are these the skills we need for marriage? Even if you're going out with the person you will one day marry, a preoccupation with being the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend now can actually hinder you from being the future husband or wife that person needs one day.
(I Kissed Dating Goodbye
, p43)
1 comment:
I am slow today. Slower than usual that is. I need to read a bit more of Harris. But interesting that he doesn't mention children. To prepare to be a husband or wife is to prepare to be a father or mother (God willing). So given the Awesome task of Ephesians 6v1-4 ground lost through recreational or even serious misdirected dating has a generational effect.
Of course God is gracious and redeems. But while we rely on his grace alone we are not to presume on it.
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