Tuesday 30 June 2009

What happens if your children turn into little Richard Dawkins?

Here is an amusing account given by an atheist of the fearful logic of consistent atheism. He is assessing a new arrival on the 'summer camp' market - Camp Quest:

Now, I have no quarrel with Camp Quest's objectives. I am an atheist. And of course children should be taught to think scientifically. No, my worry is simply that the camp's teachings will be too effective. For if there's one thing to make my blood freeze, it's the thought of my child mutating into some kind of pedantic, humourless, eight-year-old mini-Dawkins.

Imagine trying to celebrate the little beast's birthday: "Many happy returns, Darling. Now blow out the candles and make a wish."

"Certainly not, Father. This is a futile custom. There is no evidence to support the notion that blowing out the candles on a Marks & Spencer Victoria sponge increases the likelihood of one's desires becoming reality."

"Right. I see. Sorry. Well, luckily, we've bought some nice gifts for you."

"On the contrary, Father, luck did not influence your purchases. Indeed, there is no such thing. To believe otherwise is flabby thinking."

"Oh, God."

"Please don't say that, Father. You know perfectly well that the deity whose name you invoke does not exist."

"That Camp Quest thing really had an effect on you, hasn't it. I suppose you'll be wanting to go on the course they're organising for Easter…"

"Most assuredly not. Easter is a spurious festival based on the fallacy that a man came back from the dead, which double-blind experiments have proved impossible. In consequence, I refuse to recognise Easter and shall spend the holiday period at school, whether or not my teachers are in attendance."

Still, at least I wouldn't have to waste money buying Christmas presents for the little squirt.
Michael Deacon in the Telegraph today.

As for my household, Jane and I are getting ready for our God filled summer camp - Edgehill -under the CPAS Ventures umbrella. We can't wait, we have a fantastic leaders team and 60 children coming, 9 from Grace CC. And the new challenge of doing camp with a pre-toddler!

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